Tantrums and difficult behaviour

parenting Apr 10, 2020

Sometimes it’s easy to think your child is being difficult, or is trying to push your buttons. In fact nothing could be further from the truth. The thing is, your child’s behaviour has absolutely nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own internal world of thoughts and feelings. Their behaviour is merely an outward projection of their internal world.

The minute we judge we have lost any hope of connection and in doing so, any possibility of being able to help them.
Because judgment kills connection.

Instead of thinking my child is being difficult, I invite you to bring your compassionate curiosity to what they may be experiencing and instead ask, why is my child having a difficult time?

Do they feel misunderstood? Are they tired, hungry or in need of more attention? Are they struggling to understand or process things that are happening around them?

Your empathy will help you connect. Help them. Strengthen your relationship and allow them to move through the feelings more easily, in fact our children will learn to co-regulate their emotions long before they are able to regulate them, themselves.  Your ability to hold space for them and be with their difficult feelings is vital for their healthy development of self.  And if you struggle with reacting, or are being triggered, then I invite you gently, to consider what your behaviour and reactions might be telling you,  about your own and hidden, internal world.

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