Welcome to Part 3 of my Raising Wholehearted Children blog series🙅🔥
In this 4 part series of blogs I want to share with you how I’ve learned to live deeply into my own truth and how I bring personal growth into my parenting so that you can do the same.
If you missed the last any of the last blogs, you can check them out below.
Blog 1 and Blog 2 are here!
So this blog is about parenting in the present moment. Not what you would like to be happening (that’s magical thinking people and it doesn’t work btw.)
Raising Wholehearted Children Step 3: It’s time to set realistic expectations for yourself and your child.
This will help you know what it is exactly you’re working toward and allow you to parent in the present moment and work with what is actually going on,. For when we have expectations for a situation that are not being met, this is where ALL stress lives.
Late for work / school anyone? Expect them to to be ready on time? I know you can relate 🙂
Except ‘being ready’ is a huge concept, made up of so many smaller ones. No wonder they don’t get it.
Creating a longer, more realistic time frame for your child to learn what is required of them and to develop into the kind of human you want to raise … and accepting them where they are right now, is an important part of raising wholehearted children. But first, you have to work out what is really important to you.
Creating a realistic timeframe for your child to develop into the kind of human you want to raise reduces expectations, allows you to trust in your intention and helps you parent more fully in the present moment.
Now once you know what outcome you are aiming for, it’s going to help you relax into trust.
The parenting world is far too saturated with images of being a perfect parent and I can promise you that turning into Mary Poppins overnight is not going to help you raise an awesome human. Plus acting like some sugary, pretend person will probably make you want to stick pins in your eyes, if not make every other real person within a 200 mile radius think you’re completely mental and avoid you like the plage 🙂
The truth is, to really succeed in your parenting (and your life) it is probably going to take WAYYYYYY more time than you probably hope or want.
Coming to terms with this fact should actually feel empowering, because you can take the pressure off yourself quite a bit. (Or a lot!)
Acceptance is your friend babes.
If you simply embrace and understand that you’re in this relation’ship’ for the long haul and trust that your child will work it out, and that you will get better at this, you can avoid the trappings of getting into conflict and instead choose to trust in your intention and outcome. This will allow you to rise above the drama.
I’m going to break it down for you,
You do not have to attend every argument you are invited to!
Read that again.
Instead of thinking your child has to reach some “finish line” in the next 3-6 months, what if you planned for the outcome to take 20 or even 25 years? Your child’s first 7 years are absolutely crucial for development and for their beliefs, (more on that later) but the brain does not fully develop until they are 25!
Instead of seeing a small, finite, jam-packed schedule ahead of you where your child has to be this amazing human that understands everything right now and instead you zoomed the lens out a bit (or a lot!) and gave yourself a realistic timeline that feels spacious instead of angst-filled and pressured?
If you did that, you may find yourself way less focused on the short-term, immediate problems and and more focused on making sure the journey that you share together feels good (for both of you!) along the way.
And that you make it FUN!
Patience and parenting go hand-in-hand, it’s just that no one will try to sell you an online course about being more patient because no one would buy that course. However, planning ahead to fill up your cup so that you have more patience to give, will get you through the inevitable tough patches. As I often say, the universe will never give you more patience, it will however give you plenty of opportunities to practise patience and your child (and indeed anyone else you pushes your buttons,) is your biggest teacher.
👉 Patience will help you allow you to love and accept your child exactly where they are.
👉 Patience will reassure you when your kids does something cringey or is just acting out of tiredness, hunger or feeling small and vulnerable.
👉 Patience will calm your brain when something that your kid had previously nailed goes out of the window .
The ultimate irony of anyone telling you that you can become the parent you really want to be in the next 30 days, etc, is that you are likely in pursuit of EVENTUALLY raising a wholehearted child who loves, trusts and believes in themselves.
Yet, to see results on this hyper-speed timeline will take your life and parenting to unimaginable stress levels. Not to mention, it’s impossible. This is a journey and I don’t know about you, but I want to enjoy the ride. We literally get 18 Summers with our kids and I want to squeeze every last moment of connection, joy and fun out of them that I can,
That’s why understanding that your child’s brain doesn’t reach maturity till adulthood is the crucial first step in raising Raarsome humans.
It’s time to stop buying into the idea that you can fast-track success just because someone sells you on a new way to skip all the hard work. Hard work and mindset is always where success in anything comes from, but with proper (enough) planning, patience and mindset, self-healing, raising an awesome human who knows their worth doesn’t have to be an arduous, frustrating process.
I’m really rather flipping happy to be riding the (slower) and far less stressful train of working with my child where they are at … AND learning how I can be all the things I desire to be.
And I’d love for you to join me! That’s why my flagship programme is a year. It’s relaxed, it’s spacious AND it can actually deliver completely transformational results as we build on each understanding and expand slowly. Some people even stay on to work with me longer when it finishes and we have all become a little family! A FIERCE family.
For when is the flower perfect?
(The answer is always, in case you didn’t get that.)
⚡️ THE RECAP ⚡️
Here’s what raising a wholehearted child should like like:
I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog, I’ve got another juicy one coming your way real soon with lots of other top tips for raising children who know their worth.
P.S. I have the most exciting pee your pants, never been made before offer to work with me that is going to blow your mind. If you want to be the first to find out AND take advantage of the ridiculous Early Bird offer then just fill in the short form from the link below
Yes, I want to be 'first in the know!'